By Richard E. Bleil, Ph.D.
This is a public service announcement. This public service announcement is brought to you as a public service announcement. Here is the public service announcement presented as a public service announcement.
Dear reader, it is high time that we cease the cruel and inhumane practice of skeet shooting.
Yes, every year, thousands upon thousands of harmless skeet are hunted and shot mid-flight. What’s worse, there is no valid reason for this so-called “sport”:
Skeet are not hunted for nutrition! When cooked, they tend to have an almost dirt-like flavor, and have absolutely no nutritional value to them. They are so tough, they often will damage the utensils used by those attempting to eat them, and their bones are so hard to separate from the meat that it is not uncommon to damage teeth as the skeet is being consumed.
They are not nuisance animals. Starlings, sparrows or other birds are often a hazard to airplanes as they take off and land, while other birds such as geese are well-known to release large amounts of excrement that could cause health problems. Skeet are never spotted at airports, and it is exceptionally rare to find excrement from them.
Skeet population does not require control. Although they seem to have no known natural predators, neither is there any evidence whatsoever of overpopulation. In fact, it is possible that they are so rare that they should be considered for the endangered species list. Unfortunately, they have yet to be considered for this list, which this author suspects may well be based on some kind of illogical bias against skeet.
Skeet do not influence their environment. Unlike animals that burrow, or build dams, or harm trees and plants, skeet have never displayed any propensity for such costly damage.
It almost makes one wonder why they are so prized as game. I should state, in the interest of open and honest reporting, that I have no loss of love for skeet hunters. They often hunt the skeet without regard to family units, with nary an afterthought of whether or not the skeet they are shooting has eggs that will not be able to hatch without the parent skeet incubating them. I’m assuming they reproduce via eggs, although, honestly, I’m not entirely sure. They fly, so I guess they’re some kind of bird. Oddly enough, my research into the topic has failed to produce any information on the mating, migratory, or reproductive habits of skeet. Again, could this be some kind of conspiracy against learning more of the skeet?
Arguably, skeet shooting may not even be legitimately called a sport. Consider:
The aerodynamic acrobatic ability of skeet are extremely poor. They cannot maneuver, and rarely are seen every changing direction mid-air, favoring instead a straight flight path, even when startled.
On the ground, they are even worse. Slow and sluggish to the point that one wonders if they are even awake, the skeet on the ground are easy prey, so easy, in fact, that I’ve never even heard of them being hunted on the ground.
They have no natural defense. None whatsoever. They don’t bite, have no teeth, no venom, and no claws.
The plumage is very unimpressive. I’ve never even seen a skeet hung as a trophy on the hunter’s wall. Because they are sluggish, sometimes they will have my ex-wife’s name written on them in marker, but that’s a habit I’m trying to break.
Often, hunters won’t even seek wounded skeet to put them out of their misery if the skeet is not killed outright in the hunt. Imagine those poor skeet, brought down, injured, with no chance to survive being left to “bleed out” rather than being put out of their misery.
This cannot be allowed to continue. Please, write you congress representatives, and tell them to pass legislation to stop skeet shooting today.
This public service announcement has been brought to you as a public service announcement. This concludes the public service announcement presented as a public service announcement as offered as a public serviceannouncementt for the purpose of providing a public service announcement as required by the judge.