By Richard Bleil
A few days ago, on my social media page, I asked a question: “If I were to write a blog post answering questions about men that women would like to ask, what would you ask?” I must admit, I didn’t get the kinds of questions that I anticipated. Being a man, of course, my center evolves around, well, my “junk”, so I expected questions that also center on this, oh, let’s say “organelle”. But, nope, not what I got. So, being true to the post, I’m going to try my best to answer the questions that I did get.
DISCLAIMER: These answers are my opinion only. Not all men would agree.
This first one is probably my favorite. “Do most men answer with what they think a woman wants to hear…not what they really think?” I wish I had a definitive answer for this, but honestly, I think it depends on the circumstances. For example, a man hoping to sleep with you will probably say what he’s hoping will get him what he wants. Take anything he says with a grain of salt. It might not all be lies; hey may be quite sincere, but you can’t really tell. Or if a man is trying to avoid an argument, he’ll likely say what he thinks a woman wants to hear. But, let’s be fair; many men were trained to do this. What kind of answer would you expect from questions like “does this dress make me look…”?
“How do men look right at something and not see it?” This question could have a couple of different connotations. Men do have the ability to not see what he doesn’t want to see. For example, a heterosexual watching pornography has this uncanny ability of selective vision that will allow him to kind of screen out the parts of the male in the scene he doesn’t want to see. But, if you are talking more practical, like, go to the pantry and grab the can of tomatoes, that’s something different. I know that for me, often the problem is one of expectation. If you’ve always used a brand of tomatoes that has a red label, he may completely miss a can from one that has a white label, for example. If it’s not what we are expecting, it could be a problem.
“Why do some of them think clothes magically fly thru air into hampers or closets?” and a follow up question “Or shoes find their way to the closet or clean clothes find their way to be folded/hung up up…?” This could be a surprisingly complicated question. Many men grew up with a mother that always picked up after them, or in households where they were taught about “men’s” and “women’s” roles. This means that, to overcome it, retraining may be necessary, but, be careful. If men don’t see a benefit for such retraining, they’ll likely resist. But, on the other hand, it’s also true that men are rather more, oh, let’s say “relaxed” about their environment than many women. I can’t say why this is; it seems like men are just very simple and practical creatures. We often don’t mind messes until the mess reaches a stage where it becomes, well, impractical.
“Why is it that a woman can say/suggest something to a man 1000 times and he will disregard it until the same thing is said/suggested by another man?” I fear there is probably no good answer for this. I’ve had my wife do the same thing when I was married. Honestly, I believe it is probably lack of respect. Now, earlier, I said men have a kind of selective vision; the ability to tune things out. It also applies to hearing, so sometimes, if you say something to a man and he just doesn’t respond, it could be that he’s tuning you out. There’s something on his mind, or something else to which he is paying attention, but if he is ignoring suggestions from you, but accepting the same suggestions from a man, it is probably lack of respect.
“Why do men think they know more about a woman’s body than she does, despite having no medical background or so much as cracking a female anatomy book?” This is a great question, especially in light of today’s political climate. There is no good answer for this question save arrogance. Let’s be a little bit fair about this; a man should be able to state his opinion provided he is open to learning if he is wrong. This is human nature, but it blows my mind when men say something completely and irrationally incorrect as if it is scientific fact, or worse, explain to a woman why SHE is wrong about her own anatomy if she corrects him. Male pride is, well, it’s a powerful force.
“Why do men thing compromising means they get 100% of what they want, the woman gets 50% or no one gets anything at all?” The inability to debate and compromise is a major problem today. I suspect this might be related to the “WIN” mentality that is so ingrained into the psyche of men. Their sports team must win. Their biggest truck personal contest must win. Their “I’ll cheat on you but you can’t cheat on me” game must be a win.
As I review these questions, it seems to me that these are not lighthearted fun delightful questions that I had hoped they would be. They touch on serious social issues and problems, the heart of which might be related to changing roles in today’s society. As the roles of the genders expand and mutual respect is the direction of social growth are great things, but it means that men must suddenly be aware of their actions, always, These represent loss of freedom for men, which is uncomfortable and challenging. I think, maybe, I need to devote a full post on this, maybe tomorrow.
I tried to answer these questions to the best of my ability. The questions were not as lighthearted as I had hoped, so it’s not the light and airy post I was hoping it would be, but I tried to answer the questions with the proper weight considering the nature of the questions. Feel free to post any follow up questions or requests for further discussion an any of these.