Opinion by Richard Bleil
A friend of mine posted about her date on my social media site. She is a truly gorgeous young woman, but somehow with a country charm kind of personality. Hard working, intelligent, and just a nice person, and married. Her husband is a really nice guy, a good partner for her, and frankly, I like him quite a bit. I’m happy that they found each other, because they are truly a great couple, but, I gotta tell you…if she were single…dude…she would totally not be interested in me at all!!!
But, that’s not what this I about. See, she posted about going to a football game with her husband. In the post, she commented that it is her first football game.
I can’t tell you if she is a sports fan or not, and if she is, if football is her game. I myself am not a sports fan, but I made a comment about the magic of experiencing something new with somebody you love.
Sometimes, people ask me what I like to do. I don’t really have a good socially acceptable answer for that. I like chess, but that’s hardly acceptable in our society. I’m not a sports fan, certainly not socially acceptable in this country. But the reality is, I enjoy doing just about anything with the right company. I may not enjoy going to a hockey game, but I love going out with friends to a hockey game. There’s a distinct difference.
My friend went to her first football game. I don’t know if she enjoyed the game or not, but I know it was a great time going with her husband. I first encountered something like this way back in 1985. I was working as an analytical chemist. We had three women working in the front office, each one more gorgeous than the next, and one of my co-workers was from Iraq. His grasp of English was perfectly fine for the job, but it was definitely his second language. He was saving money to bring his wife to America. One day, the three ladies, all excited to tell him the news, came back to the lab to tell him the news. “Your wife is on the phone,” they said giddy with excitement, “you lucky dog!” “Yes,” he replied, “I am lucky because I work with bitches.” All three turned in anger and stormed out, one of them saying to me, “YOU explain it to him!!!” So, I got to explain that, yes, I understand that formally speaking a “bitch” is a female dog, but the slang is very insulting, and even if it isn’t, calling a woman a “dog” is also very insulting.
But this isn’t about that.
See, one of these women was just hanging up the phone as I was heating up some tea for myself (another wildly inappropriate preference in this country). She had a huge smile on her face, and seemed very excited. “What’s up?” I asked. “I have a date tonight!” she exclaimed with glee. I was a bit concerned since I thought she was married. “With whom?” I asked. “With my husband,” she answered.
I loved this. I had to press the issue and ask a few more questions. They had been married for about ten years, but sometimes, he would still (and fairly regularly) call his wife and ask her on a date, and she would still get excited every time he did. This to me is a great relationship and it seems to be the kind of relationship my friend and her husband have today.
This is the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted. I don’t have the experience in relationships that I wish I had (that is to say, I hate being alone, although I have been pretty much my entire life), but I do know that relationships take time and effort. The efforts of my friends, past and present, model the kind of effort I would like to put into one.
See, it doesn’t matter if she’s a girlfriend, or a wife, or if it’s a first date. She is choosing to be with you. The few times I have been privileged to have a girlfriend, I never forgot that to be the case. Every time we part, I liked giving my girlfriend a kiss as if I would never see her again, and every time I did see her I would kiss her as if I never expected it. I like asking my girlfriend, and my wife for the brief time I was married, I loved periodically asking her out on a date unexpectedly. If you are luckier than I and have somebody special in your life, remember to spend the time to keep it fresh. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.