A Letter by Richard Bleil
My Dearest Love,
This is destined to fail. Here, I cannot succeed, because the task is impossible. And yet, I will try. It is what men do for the women that we love; we take on the fights we are destined to lose, not to win, but because it is the right thing to do, and here I am trying to express the deepness of my love for you when the words that I need do not exist. No word in any language has the depth of my feelings for you, the warmth of the longing to hold you in my arms, the strength of my heart that beats for you. And yet, I must try. I have no choice, and so I dive into the abyss with no hopes of ever climbing out again.
What approach should I try? All of them would be in vain. Shall I try to describe what my life was without you? Can you fathom the darkness before the light that you brought into my life? Can you understand how empty a soul can be before you give it meaning? Without you I was nothing, a void as empty and meaningless like the universe before God filled it with light, the stars and planets. Without you I am an existence without life, waiting only to again hold you in my arms.
Shall I try to explain your influence in my life? Without you there is no difference between night and day, no reason to get out of bed, no reason to try to sleep. Food has no flavor, flowers no smell. You give my existence meaning, give me a reason to live, give me the desire to be a better man than I am. For you I aspire to be a better man. I want to be more generous, I long to be kinder, I want to be more alert. I notice things I never saw before. The colors of flowers are more vibrant, the small of perfume is sweeter, the tenderness of kindness touches me more deeply than I ever knew possible. Because of you I want to live. When your sweet lips touch mine, you breathe life into my dead lungs, and resurrect my broken soul.
Perhaps I could try to explain my longing to be with you. Should I try to describe the coldness that envelops my body when you are not pressing against it? Could I describe the pain in my arms when they are not embracing you? I lose my coordination every moment I spend apart from you, my muscles beginning to atrophy from lack of exercise as I embrace you passionately. Without the exercise of caressing your sweet shoulders and brushing your beautiful cheeks I may as well have the flexibility of a mannequin.
You are my guiding star, my true love, my reason to smile, the sun that melts the ice in my soul. You have brought life to this corpse, and made my diseased heart beat once again. You’ve filled my soul and brought my mind to life with thoughts of love. I want to dedicate my efforts to providing for you the kind of life that you deserve. I long to be your partner in life through mundane tasks, and protector in times of danger. I want to stand by you in times of rain and celebrate with you in times of cheer. I want to be with you when you need me and within a call away when you need your time alone. I want to be your fantasy, your lover, your dream man. I want to be the man that makes your friends say “damn”.
As predicted, I have indeed failed in my task. If this letter brought you all of the joy in the world, if it brought happiness to your mind, if it brought joy to your life, if it brought warmth to your soul it nonetheless has fallen short of the level that you deserve. But this I swear; I will stand by your side, I will make every effort humanly possible, I will spend my entire life to give you the kind of life, the depth of love, the pinnacle of joy, the depth of happiness that you so very richly deserve. I will be here for you through days of joy and pain, ready to be the man that you need me to be.
I will love you forever, with the kind of love that is the stuff of legends.