Thoughts by Richard Bleil
For those who are not familiar with the term, “Incel” is a relatively new term meaning “Involuntary Celibate”. I have not made love with a woman for years, and I would very much like to, so, is it possible that I am an “Incel”?
Oh HELL no.
Before we begin, let me state that, from what I have seen, the people who call themselves “Incels” are arrogant, white, young men who would rather blame others for their situation and are, from what I have seen, largely associated with the rise of “white pride”. I thought it might be worth a few words to look at what seems to me to be some of the premises of these angry young men.
Often, I hear of these “Incels” complaining about how they are “so nice” but “not getting any” from their target. Yes, target. They will pick a woman out, buy her a drink, or help her shovel a car out of a snowbank, or some such action, and if they don’t get to have sex with the woman then, clearly, there is something wrong with her.
No, there is NOTHING wrong with her. Nobody can ever “owe” sex to anybody at all. Doing something “nice” for somebody with an end-goal in mind is not a nice action at all, it’s a negotiation, and if you are attempting to negotiate without her knowledge, then it’s not even an honest negotiation. It is certainly not her fault for “failing to accept the terms” of your “kindness” if she isn’t even aware that there are terms involved.
A nice act never has an end-goal. If I notice a flat tire and fill it up because I happen to have a portable electric pump in my vehicle, that is being nice. If I offer to fill it for, say, five dollars, that’s a negotiation. Yes, maybe I am doing a favor for that person, and the price might be cheap, but it is nonetheless a negotiation. One way that I have been nice, more than once and with more than one woman, is to give money. If a friend is in need, and I have the means to help, I’ll help. I don’t “lend” money because, frankly, I don’t like trying to keep tabs. If the day comes that she wants to return the money then of course I’ll accept it, but frankly, I never lend anything that I’m not willing to lose. When I give money to a friend, it’s never with any expectation, including sex, because I never assume that my friend is a prostitute (ironically enough, I have had my share of friends who were although I was never a client).
Let’s also, while we’re at it, look at “fault”. Whose fault is it that I currently am without a partner? Could it be mine? Maybe. Maybe I’m not putting myself “out there” enough. The problem with “Incels” is that they never can accept that the problem could be with them, which means that they are precisely the problem. Imagine being so arrogant as to believe that any woman would die if she couldn’t sleep with him, so focused on that one woman he deems worthy, and then getting upset when she says no. Of course, these “men” are arrogant, whiners, and frankly not terribly bright.
It’s usually pretty easy to spot these “men”. They are the ones complaining of being “friend zoned”, of being friends with her for so long and she still hasn’t had sex with him, or of how nice he is. Seriously, if you’re truly nice, you don’t keep score. Being nice is thinking of others, not ticking away the moments until finally she’ll cave in. I’ve had many female friends over the years, I’m blessed to have many of them today, and none of them will sleep with me. Ever. And that’s okay, because my life is so much brighter for having them in it. Not “even as friends”, but because they are friends.
And they are friends because I’m not trying to “bag” them.
The truth is that these men are “Incels” because their target women are too smart for them. I find it unacceptable that women have to put up with this kind of pressure to have sex. I understand hormones; believe me, I have plenty of them myself, but I’m also evolved to the point that they don’t rule my behaviors.
I’m tired of people having hidden agendas, unable to take responsibility for their own situations, and lashing out because of anger issues. We need to start looking out for each other, protecting and taking care of those in need, regardless of looks, and without a scorecard. If we don’t learn to evolve, we’ll be stuck forever.