Thoughts by Richard Bleil
This is probably becoming a regular thing, but with Valentine’s Day coming tomorrow I feel I need, once again, to plea on behalf of those of us who are alone on Valentine’s Day.
Never would I denigrate relationships or love. I myself am a great romantic, having written love letters routinely to my wife and making it a point to spoil her on holidays like tomorrow’s, and when there is no reason at all. If you’re in love, please be happy. Celebrate, show your partner your feelings and how important they are to you, and spoil them. Hopefully you do not need a holiday like Valentine’s Day to show them how you feel or surprise them with something, but don’t miss these holidays either. There still plenty of room in the doghouse for you.
At the same time, remember there are those of us alone. Don’t pity us, don’t dwell on us, but at the same time try to avoid being overtly showy in public. There are some things I think are sweet, like holding hands. It’s just lovely, and non-threatening, but I have to admit it’s difficult seeing a couple who look as if they are trying to eat supper out of each other’s mouths.
It would be nice to check in with your single friends. Say hello, but don’t try to “fix” them. If they don’t ask you to find somebody for them, don’t push it. If you know they will say “no”, don’t even ask. If you know the perfect match, don’t suggest a Valentine’s Day Double Date. That’s just way too much pressure.
If you know someone who is recently single, definitely reach out to them, but don’t be pushy. Listen to them. If they need sympathy, give them sympathy, but don’t give sympathy if you don’t know that they want it. One of the things that drives me batty is when somebody opens up with “I’m so sorry you’re alone…” Invariably, the Peter Pan advice follows. “You just haven’t found the right one yet.” “When she comes along it’ll be game over.” “If you stop murdering them you wouldn’t be alone.”
Okay, the last one was meant as a joke, but yes, I’ve had more people tell me what I’m doing wrong than you can pee on. “Don’t talk about science so much.” “You’re too picky.” “You need to be more open to new experiences.” “How did you break those dating services again?”
Yeah, you remember that one that isn’t there anymore? That’s because of me.
Just be understanding. I have many friends on social media doing those games, “tell your story. How did you meet your significant other? How long did you date? Who said ‘I Love You’ first? Do you honestly believe he got it from a public toilet?”
Bluh. Thanks, but no thanks. Ever time I see one I feel like giving my answers. I met her at school, we dated for almost a week and a half, and no, I didn’t.
This year I will actually not be alone for Valentine’s Day. Yep, I have my cat. How pathetic is that? As I type this, she’s sitting on my lap, making me hold my arms in an awkward and uncomfortable position as she bites me. Yep, drawing blood. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong to get her so upset as she sits comfortably in my lap, but it’s fair. I never knew what I did to tick off my wife, either. Am I married to my cat? Is that what’s happening here? She just hurts me and expects me to know what I did wrong to deserve it?
Tomorrow’s post will be something about Valentine’s Day and love and all of that…stuff, I guess, and I hope you’ll forgive me for this one. Valentine’s Day is just tough on single people, like the display toilets in a home improvement store is to a man with diarrhea. It’s just painful to see. So please, just be aware, be kind, and be accepting.
I like these posts to be at least seven hundred and fifty words, so I have some space left. I have to admit, I do love married couples that care for each other, like the man who was so worried about his wife’s mental health that he went to a psychiatrist on her behalf. He told the doctor that his wife thinks she’s a chicken. The doctor asked how long she has been like that, to which he replied three years. When the doctor asked why he didn’t come in sooner, the man said he was enjoying the eggs.
Okay, off of the soapbox. Hope you have a great Valentine’s Day, and I hope you remembered it’s tomorrow and planned something special. If not, this article might well be about you.