A Post by Rocky, Richard Bleil’s Guest Fieldmouse
To escape the freezing cold, I found my way into a home. I found my way under the sink, and didn’t like the sponges under there, so I threw them out of the cabinet. The human living there took it as a challenge, and bought some humane traps, and, yes, I fell for it and became trapped, but it’s not my fault. There was peanut butter in there. The human then bought a little rodent motel and has been giving me feed and water ever since.
What are you doing, mouse?
Oh, crud. It’s the cat.
Listen, Rocky, you’re lucky. I was on your trail. You could be living in my tummy right now.
Yeah, right, you’re out of shape. You couldn’t catch a rock.
Hey, Rocky, why don’t you put your head here against the bars. My human scratches me behind the ears and it feels so good. I’ll scratch you if you give me the chance. Trust me, you’ll love it.
Listen, Star, my body may be small, but from what I’ve seen, I’m sure that my brain is larger than yours.
Oh, let me check that out. Come out and play.
I’ll be out soon. The human said that he’s going to release me into a field soon.
You won’t last the first night.
Listen, cat, I was born in the fields. I’m not a house mouse like you’re a house cat; I’m tough. I can fend for myself. A hawk would pick you off in less than a minute.
I could run, mouse. Besides, I have claws and teeth. I’m the perfect killing machine.
Don’t make me laugh, cat. I’ve never seen such a clumsy creature in my life. You have all of the stealth of a rooster in the morning. You think I haven’t heard you jumping up on the table?
You weren’t going anywhere; I didn’t have to be stealthy.
Good thing, since you couldn’t be stealthy if a snack depended on it. Well, maybe if there was a snack involved.
YOU’RE a snack.
Listen, the human loves me. He’s going to give me my freedom.
He loves me more, mouse. He gave me this as my very own forever home. He feeds me, and cleans up my litter.
Oh, please don’t remind me. I’m a creature of the jungle!
Jungle? Here? In town?
When you’re as small and cute as I am, everything is big. The grass is as tall as sapling trees.
Yes, you’re small. You know, Rocky, maybe he’ll “set you free” in the living room for me to play with and turn into a snack.
His heart is too big for that.
He put you in that plastic ball so I could play with you, remember?
Ugh, I hated that thing. You wouldn’t let me along. I just sat there hoping you would get bored.
But I liked playing soccer with you!
And that’s when he put me back in my hotel. See? He loves me!
I have to admit, that really ticked me off. I can’t believe my human wouldn’t let me bat you around until the plastic ball broke open so I could eat you.
If he loved you, the human never would have let me play with you.
If he loved you, he never would have rescued me before you bat me across the floor.
Well, you were no fun anyway. You barely moved. You know, the ball would have moved if you tried to walk. You could have had the run of the house.
I used to have the run of the house while you and the human were asleep, and that was without being in a plastic ball.
You’re lucky I didn’t catch you.
You couldn’t have. I’m svelte, and fast, and athletic. You look like you live on a steady diet of fats and sugar.
Ooh, fats and sugar. I love fatty sweet foods.
I can see that. Did you see what he feeds me? I eat grains, the food of champions.
Big enough to kick your butt.
Listen, little Rocky, he rescued ME from the humane society so I could live the posh life!
Fair enough, Gas Giant Star, but he rescued ME from under the counters in a way that saved my life.
Ugh, I’ll be glad when you’re gone. Then I won’t have to share him with you anymore.
Amen, cat, I’m tired of you drooling on my home.
Have you enjoyed your time here, Rocky?
Not really. I belong in the wild. I’m glad he’ll release me. Maybe I’ll find a little female mouse and have babies.
We were glad to have you here, Rocky. Good luck!
Editorial note: Rocky was released into a field today at about 2 PM. He happily hid from me. When I returned, I found this on the computer I need to learn to stop leaving open. I hope you enjoy it.