Thoughts by Richard Bleil
Do you remember Lorena Bobbitt? Back in 1993, she had national notoriety for removing every man’s favorite organ from her husband John Wayne Bobbitt and chucking it out of the window of a moving vehicle. In her defense, she testified that she had endured twenty-five years of rape and physical abuse from her alcoholic and cheating husband (of course, alleged). He was acquitted of the claims of rape, and she was found not guilty by reason of insanity.
Well, I guess she would have to be.
A friend of mine told me of his youth, when he and a friend would climb onto a camper and throw rocks at one dog in particular in an attempt to make it as mean as possible. Frankly, this was very painful for me to hear, but I also believe it to be a folly of youth. And, yes, he said that the dog would attempt to jump up onto the trailer to get them.
Frankly, I find it hard to blame the dog for trying to get to the boys who were routinely hurting it, and had s/he been successful, I would have blamed the boys for anything that resulted. Sadly, it’s the dog that would have paid the ultimate price as no doubt it would have been put down, but the reality is that there are no bad dogs. Some dogs are naturally more territorial, or more defensive of their family, and some were even bred specifically for fighting, but any dog raised with love and proper training is loving and gentle. As I write this, my cat Star is sitting on the desk asking for loving, which I am giving to her, and yet, I would never try to handle Mooch, the feral cat that lives outside in this manner.
Despite the jokes, I happen to have a friend who was the neighbor of the Bobbitts and knew them personally. She tells me that (and this is hearsay as I repeat this) that she had witnessed enough that she believed him to be truly a monster to Lorena. Falling short of saying that he deserved what happened, she did say she understood Lorena’s actions.
We live in a society where women are raised to be quiet little princesses and victims and men are raised to be macho and heartless. This is so ingrained in us that we even expect these behaviors in women and men, but the reality is that women are far stronger than they are given credit. Just because they were raised to hide their strengths does not mean they are devoid of them. And like that faithful dog, push them too far and eventually, yes, they will snap and in the most spectacular way.
And I blame the men.
I have far too many female friends who have confided in me of the atrocities they suffer at the hands of their current significant others. See, I’m the kind of guy that women will open up to because they believe that I would never take advantage of the situation, but they only believe this because, frankly, they’re right. I don’t want to snake a woman away from her husband, boyfriend, whoever it may be. All I want is for my friends to be happy, and frankly, they’ve already chosen another over me, and that’s okay. I’m still here for them as a friend. Often, I’ll help them in their relationship by letting them let off steam, answer questions and sometimes even give advice, but as I do so, my heart aches for them. Some of these situations are so bad that I wonder how long it will be until the just turn.
No, I doubt that any of them would snap in a fashion as spectacular as that of Lorena, but I can tell you that they all have the potential to really hurt their significant others, even if unintentional. I believe that men can become far too complacent with their significant others. They are blind to the support they get, the things that they don’t have to do because they have a loving partner who takes care of them. They tend to see themselves as far more attractive than they really are, and much more independent than they actually know how to be. Within two weeks of my mother leaving him, my dad began “courting” my mom again. This from the man who swore to my mother prior to her leaving that he has other prospects, and in two weeks, he realized that those prospects were not as secure as he thought, and he was not as good without mom as he believed he would be. He promised all kinds of concessions, and six months later mom decided to return, albeit not right away. Dad had to wait another six months until her apartment lease was up.
Now that’s cold.
So, go ahead and keep throwing those rocks. I’ll help my friends jump up onto that camper roof, and then what will you do?