Thoughts by Star, Feline Overlord of Richard Bleil
What is it about the bad boys that is so appealing? You know, the ones that you know will break your heart, those who have no idea what the definition of “fidelity” is. The ones you know will break your heart, and yet you cannot help but love them while overlooking the nice, trustworthy steady and stable ones who are so much better for you in the long run?
His fur is gray, with white around his face and paws. He’s so hot. And he’s feral, so you know he knows how to take care of himself and protect his females. I’ve had my naughty bits removed, but believe me, I’ve been trying my hardest at squirting pheromones out at him.
My human servant, that I have been calling “Hey mister”, has been putting food out for him. Of course, I have no way of communicating that this is my will to the Hey Mister, but somehow, he is a good enough human to know that I want this bad boy to keep coming around. The Hey Mister calls my boyfriend “Mooch”. I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds cute so it’s okay, because Mooch is so cute too, so it fits.
My Hey Mister has been inviting my boyfriend Mooch into the house. He’s been doing it by leaving a window open so after Mooch eats, he can just come inside, and yet, so far, Mooch has not done so. As a result, I’ve decided that I have to take the matter into my own paws. Of late, despite my lack of acrobatic prowess, I’ve started trying to show Mooch the way. The last couple of days, I have hopped up on the chest freezer and crawled through the window. I haven’t ventured all the way out yet, but I’m making sure that Mooch sees me there. Surely my alluring silhouette and sultry purring will attract him to me. Usually, he stands on the deck as I sit on the sill and the deck rail, eating his food.
Hey Mister seems to dislike this. I don’t know why, but when he sees me in the window, he always grabs me and brings me back inside. I realize I don’t have the hunting skills that my man surely has, and it’s not like I would know how to get back if I wandered too far, but that’s no reason to drag me so unceremoniously back inside. I always complain and grab onto something to resist him. I’m really very upset about this. Bad human! Bad!
But why won’t he join us? Inside we have warmth, cover from rain and snow, plenty of food and fresh water, and lovings from Hey Mister but only when I want. He seems to get the concept very well of who the true master of the house is and requires very little training. So why won’t Mooch join us?
I wonder if Mooch is as attracted to me as I am to him? It’s painful to think that I can be so attracted to him but have my affections unrequited. How is it possible to find somebody so alluring, while they feel nothing in return? It raises so many questions. Is there something wrong with me? Should I do or change something to get his attention? I want him so very badly, but he won’t even walk into the house for me.
It’s always guesswork. I’ve laid myself out there, flirted and tried time and time again to get his attention. He knows I like him, so it’s heart wrenching to think that he might not feel the same. It feels so vulnerable, so weak like an exposed nerve just waiting to be trampled on.
Still, though, I’m the Star. I can’t believe I’m so enthralled by a cat. Okay, fine, I can’t believe I’m so enthralled by a bad boy cute and excessively hot feral cat. He’s so dreamy.
The Hey Mister is still trying. Mooch used to run away every time the Hey Mister opened the window, but not anymore. Now he’s staying on the handrail and is even within reach of the Hey Mister as he gives Mooch small bits of food at a time. But I think Hey Mister is afraid of leaving the window open now for fear that I’ll get out. It’s so silly. I’m ferocious and a killer kitty, capable of taking care of myself. But, I can’t help but wonder what would ever happen to the Hey Mister if I wasn’t around to grace his existence with my presence.