Thoughts with Richard Bleil
Men are such simple creatures. The pornography industry targets men because, as studies have shown, men tend to be far more stimulated by the sense of vision than women are. Yes, of course there are exceptions on both sides, but it’s just physiology, and it’s easily exploited. I really do wish that I could claim that I am somehow different, better, but I’m not.
In college, I was so in love with this little beauty that worked at the front desk of the dorm where I lived, with jet black hair, dark blue eyes and burning red lips. And she was very sweet, albeit far out of my league, making my love for her even deeper (a love that still burns today albeit for a friend). And, usually, I’m not a proverbial “butt” man, but walking back to the dorm, I was walking behind a young woman with just an exceptional derriere. I couldn’t help but stare, so locked in that I completely missed my friend as she approached from the other direction. “Aren’t you going to say ‘hello’?” she asked when she was embarrassingly close snapping me out of my trance. It was shocking.
But it’s more than that. It’s all too easy for me to be influenced by beauty such that I can overlook darkness in personality, as I did with my wife. The warning signs were all there, but I was so blinded by her sexiness and beauty that, well, on reflection it’s not that I didn’t see them, but rather that I didn’t want to believe them.
There is no doubt that attractive women are better at sales to men than other men. Working at home one day (the joy of working in education in that you don’t always have to go to the office), there was a knock at the door. Outside was a very attractive couple, a young man who no doubt many women would have found charming, and an absolutely stunningly cute woman. They were selling insurance, and, of course, when I invited them inside (because what man wouldn’t want her in his home?) he sat on my piano bench, and she sat on the couch with me. Unfortunately for her, my rather large and friendly dog Bella insisted on sitting exactly in the middle between her and myself. As she was giving her pitch to me, she was also chewing gum which simply fascinated Bella, so much so that as she was talking, Bella snatched the gum right out of her mouth.
I felt terrible but can’t help but laugh today at what she must have thought when my dog’s tongue darted into and out of her mouth. But it’s not like I could punish Bella; after all, she had already won the prize. I did put her into her kennel nonetheless for the remainder of her pitch. Would you be surprised to discover that I did purchase every type of insurance she was pitching? I’m sure that my friends who know me all too well are not surprised.
It goes both ways, though. I’ve known my share of attractive women in law enforcement. Their problem is being taken seriously. They are actually trained to be aggressive, especially up front, to be sure that whoever they are dealing with knows that they are not to be trivialized. One of these remarkable young women was, unbeknownst to her, captured on a security video during a take down. I myself didn’t see it, but her mother described to me how she had burst into action, and really shocked her. She had no idea that her frankly attractive and petite daughter could be so explosive in her action, but when dealing with a drooling man falling in love with her, how else is she to get him to take her seriously?
We, and me specifically, should be able to do better than this. I’ve come to realize that attractive women, as much as I do adore them, are honestly little more than “eye candy”, at least until I get to know them better. Too many women (not all of them) will use their looks to their advantage, finding ways to parlay it into meals and gifts from men. Others are great intellects, generous and sweet with these traits obscured by the outside packaging. I’ve known a great many attractive women in my day, including adult models, beauty queens, television reporters and more, and I’ve gotten to know that there is no correlation between looks and the kind of woman any one of them truly is. I’ve known such beautiful women inside and out, and far too many beautiful on the outside alone. And all of it is possible because of the shallow nature of men.