Thoughts by Star the true master of the house and Lord of the human known as Richard Bleil
For the first time this season, my human mowed the lawn. It’s not the first time it’s been mowed, because he has been hiring the job out. He didn’t want to mow it because he’s trying to feed the bees, but the grass has been going to seed, so he didn’t feel like he could wait anymore. He set the mower as high as possible so the little blue flowers, that are probably weeds but still pretty, were untouched. I don’t understand how some humans decide what weeds are, but humans will be humans I guess.
Mowing is so weird. I watch through the window as he pushes what looks like a noisy stroller back and forth across the lawn. He hits every part of it, but I don’t understand the point of just walking back and forth like that. His stroller isn’t as noisy as so many other humans push, but they all do the same thing. So strange.
Every time he finishes, he’s so sweaty and smelly. He always sits to try to regain his strength. It’s my favorite time to sit on him. I don’t know why he gets so upset just because he’s hot and I generate a lot of heat. He always pushes me off, but I come back. Eventually he gives up and just lets me stay. Because I own him.
This year, he has been spending time digging in a plot of dirt, too. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, though, and I think he’s been digging up the plants that he wanted to grow food, but I don’t understand why he thinks its food. The food is clearly in that bag, and it’s always there, so why does he need to grow food? Well, as long as he doesn’t eat my food, I guess.
I like the spring. Thanks to the hey mister putting bird seed and water out year round, I do get to watch the birds outside of the windows all winter long, but there’s so much more life in the spring and summer. There is a cacophony of songs from the birds and squirrels, and a fest of smells from plants and animals and my smelly human. I like watching the plants come back to life, turning green and making more work for my human so I can sit comfortable inside as he works to keep the weeds and grass at bay.
Man, I enjoy relaxing in the cool air-conditioned house while watching him sweat and toil outside. Why doesn’t he just let everything go? I’ve discovered that if you just relax, everything gets done anyway and you get free food in your bowl throughout the day. Man, I love food. I’m so glad nobody has to work for it.
There are so many things that he could be doing other than walking back and forth with the noisy stroller. He could be in here giving me lovings. Until he gives me too many lovings. But I let him know. If he doesn’t want to give me lovings, I claw and bug him until he gives up and starts. Then I let him love me until I’ve had enough, then I bite him like we’ve been mortal enemies for eons. It serves him right, though. He should know when I’ve had enough without my letting him know. And when he’s sweaty and smelly, he needs to let me make him even more uncomfortable because he is my human, after all.
So now, while I do all of the work, the human is looking at that little device. What is he always looking at, anyway? I have noticed that when he is looking at it, the device is good for rubbing against, grooming myself and cleaning my teeth on it. I think it’s funny when he yells my name, as if he was trying to do something on it and I messed him up.
I truly enjoy messing him up.
He seems really tired tonight, so I think he might sleep well. Good time for me to maneuver him around. I don’t think he realizes that I can push his body around by laying next to him until my body heat makes him uncomfortable, and he subconsciously shifts his body to try to get room. I can really get him to wake up in strange positions when I do that. It’s such a great game!
Bleil's Banter 