I can’t watch the video without laughing, but honestly, it’s kind of heart-breaking at the same time.
I feel as if I am carrying around a coat of pollution from my past, a “soot of arms” if you will.
It’s an important topic to me, as I am one of the “chronically lonely” elders that seems to be a thing these days, and have suffered from depression, diagnosed so long ago that it was called “Manic Depressive”.
Leave it to humans to covet the defensive mechanism of animals, such as the tusk of elephants, the blubber of whales or the shells of great sea turtles. Learning to hunt and kill from a distance, we’ve hunted all three animals nearly to extinction
n my writing class in high school, we did this “free writing” exercise. The idea was to sit with a piece of paper and just write every random thought that crosses our mind.
The scars on my chest, and leg, tell a story about my heart attack and double bypass. Every day I look at these scars, ugly as they are, and remind myself of my brush with death.
I still feel this failure, as deeply as I do the failure of my marriage. Sadly, in my life, it’s another scar that cut too deeply, and that I’ve continued to carry for far too long.
The downslide hit hard a couple of days ago, starting with yet another nightmare. The dream centered around missing the proverbial train, as I’ve done time and time again throughout my life. It was filled with people insulting me, which was a new twist. The demons that are in my head keeping me from sleep so frequently managed to burrow into my dreams
today, I felt the need to reach out to so many new and old friends of mine, and I have so many friends that I could spend the entire day sending little notes to each of them, so I don’t even understand the reason behind this particular selection of friends. But I do know that, sometimes, little notes like this can mean the world to somebody.
through all of the heaven-touching highs and earth-shattering lows, my friends have stood with me. They have given me love, support and encouragement, never wavering in their compassion and concern.