Inside that sphere, there was no outside world, no distractions, no work, no stress, an entire world where the occupant was in control. It was just a place to be at peace.
This news joins the news that my father had passed away this year. A few years ago, I had learned that my mother died, the same year in fact that my dog died in the summer. The summer before that my divorce was finalized and the year before that I lost my cat and my wife threw me out wanting said divorce. Two years before that, in the greatest tragedy of them all, in the summer I married her.
She needed an ear, and I was that ear. I had that same room for the four years I was there (and, yes, that’s an exceptionally nerdy thing to do), and for four years she would call me every couple of weeks for another marathon conversation. I never even knew her name. But was she the lonely one?
I cannot imagine a more important time for her to visit this patient when the silence of the night gives the perfect stage for the demons of the night.
I have no idea how I am going to deal with this, but my dreams make it clear that there are still issues for me to work out, and I can promise you that my friends will be important as I do so.
I feel like I’ve been regressing and I’m struggling with who I have become.
Have you ever heard a reproduction of your own voice? I like my voice. As I hear myself speak in my own head, I mean, it’s not the most beautiful voice, but it’s very nice. Then I hear it in an audio recording, and it makes me want to wretch.
I’ve heard from friends that have been close to me and a significant part of my life for a very long time, and from friends that I still adore but have drifted from me for quite a long time.
Our support network, in an ideal world, should begin with my family. Mine just reminded me that my support network does not include them
“Just a short note. Your Dad passed away early this morning. A peaceful ending for him.”