Had a date with an undertaker. I asked what her perfume was. She said formaldehyde. And, yes, as a chemist I do know what formaldehyde is.
“Well,” he said in a serious voice, “I think you should get out of bed, come upstairs, and have some sponge cake with General Michael Miltstein of the Soviet Union.”
write your political representatives demanding new legislature to boycott skeet shooting. This horrible and inhumane sport must come to an end.
the Three Stooges? How are those movies funny? Because they’re hurting each other? If I want to see a grown man slap another, I’ll watch the Oscars.
In the modern age, we have modern situations that, frankly, I think we need new words to describe. For example, when you’re driving a safe distance behind somebody, and the person behind you passes only to slip into your safety zone.
When the hooman opened the door, the tiny fluffball kitten walked past him and Bella and declared the home his. Yep, that’s how a cat adopts you.
yes, I am the Saint of S&M in the church. Science and Mathematics. Why? What were YOU thinking?
Yes, indeed, he took me out of that stinky place with all of the filthy canines but if I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have. I just let him take me here so I could check out his house to see if it’s sufficient to fit my needs. Close call.
I picked it up, and when I realized what it was, I quickly set it back down. Then, I immediately picked it up again so I could set it down more gently.
I can honestly look at somebody nowadays, and say, “oh, it’s an old teaching injury”. I mean, seriously, how many people can say that?