some people sadly have lived through so much tragedy and so many bad things that when things are going well, they become stressed because, clearly, something will go wrong eventually. They live in fear of the good time ending, and sometimes will self-sabotage relationships so they can hurt their partner before their partner can hurt them.
The Struggle 3/30/22
The downslide hit hard a couple of days ago, starting with yet another nightmare. The dream centered around missing the proverbial train, as I’ve done time and time again throughout my life. It was filled with people insulting me, which was a new twist. The demons that are in my head keeping me from sleep so frequently managed to burrow into my dreams
Love and Passion 3/10/22
Passion is fueled by lust. Early on, it crashes onto the beach washing away everything in its path. It feels like love, but as much as we would like it to last forever, our hormones just can’t keep up with our heart’s desire. Eventually it fades, and if the relationship lasts, it will ebb and flow like the tides, sometimes recessing farther than we would like, while other times flowing in a lapping the beach sensuously with its waves.
I can feel sorry for myself since I’ll never have these things again, or I can feel sorry for those who will never experience them at all. I’m always sorry when good things come to an end, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate having had the experience.