Depression Shopping 6/5/23

It’s a reminder that when the dark element is in control, it’s only temporary. Eventually the light element will overtake it, and when it does, even that is temporary.

The Love Meter 5/25/23

It’s an interesting concept, that of a “love meter”, and I think there is merit to the concept. When something happens to make me feel loved, I can ride on that for a while, but in time, that wave peters out.

Excessive Loneliness 4/30/23

I do know that there are people who would rely on me in times of need, and I want to be there for them should that happen. That has kept me going more often than I care to admit.

Just Lonely 4/24/23

The elderly are simply discarded, or worse, as nothing but drains on society, too old to work, but still needing food and medicine. We are put into retirement homes or left to waste away in our own homes as the young world rushes past our windows oblivious to us.

Spring Cleaning 4/10/23

The odd thing is that as I cleaned it, I actually feel better not only about the house, but about myself as well.

Challenge of Love 3/30/23

I’ve become aware of how much I truly hate what my life has become, but how should I change? Is it time for me to start drinking and watching sports and womanizing in the hopes of finding somebody who likes being mistreated by a misogynist? Should I look for another emotionally abusive wife to take advantage of me just because it feels familiar?

Digging Out 1/27/22

The chaos builds slowly enough that it’s easy to think, “oh, I’ll pick it up tomorrow”. Eventually you hit an inflection point where it goes from that to, “ugh, this’ll take hours”. And it did. Days in fact. But once there’s a crack in the depression veil, it helps to take advantage of it and hit it like a storm. I still have more to do, but I’m feeling better already now that there is at least an end in sight.

On Therapy 1/25/23

A friend of mine had been repeatedly raped, in reality, by her father as a child. When she tried therapy, it brought repressed memories to the surface and made her worse. I’m told the ratio is roughly one to one to one. For everybody, like me, that therapy helps, there is somebody who gets worse, and there is another who gets little or nothing out of it. But it’s definitely worth giving therapy a try. If you have the courage and strength.

I Just Need Help 1/17/23

Those four words, “I just need help”, are both so powerful, and so difficult to say.

Christmas Eve 12/24/22

as always, hold space for those of us who struggle with the holidays. Don’t try to force anybody to “just be happy” or join celebrations if it’s just too painful for them to do so. They love you, too, so check in with them, accept them for who they are and be thankful for them and any participation they may be able to give.