Nobody was hurt, except one of the good Samaritan’s who chased for about half a block before running out of breath and giving up. I keep thinking about this poor slob, and how difficult a job it must be to be a mugger. What if he had actually escaped and gotten home that night to his wife?
Full disclosure, this is not a sports post. Honestly, I’m not a sports fan. Growing up, when my father was watching Sunday football, I was watching movies on the “Football Hater’s Matinee”
Our senior year, my friend started dating a young woman, a freshman in another nearby high school. And me? I started working in a department store café as a dishwasher back when department stores had cafés.
Oh fine, go ahead and laugh. It's all well and good to laugh at my weirdness, but remember, I'm the one who has to live with this mind!
This is a public service announcement. This public service announcement is brought to you as a public service announcement. Here is the public service announcement presented as a public service announcement.
Announcer number one, "Welcome back from the commercial break. There is certainly no end to the action here, as she has just gotten another cup of coffee." Announcer two, "I believe this is her third cup of coffee for the day?" Announcer 1, "That's right. She will likely need a pit stop soon, but for the moment she is staring at the chalkboard." Announcer 2, "A bit of trivia, only about three percent of the matheletes still use chalkboards. For a time, whiteboards were quite popular, but today a whopping seventy-three percent of mathematicians prefer writing on their tablets." Announcer 1, "Wait...wait...I think she...yes, she has picked up the chalk and walked to the board...it could be a goal...the chalk is at the board...no...no, she's put the chalk back down." Announcer 2, "That was breathtaking..."
Christmas eve, to me, embodied what Christmas should be about. Communion. Spending time with people, re-connecting with neighbors, just being with loved ones and visiting over beer and salami.
"the deer will spend her entire life seeking the wonderful smell in the forest, never thinking to look within herself."
Guys reading this know what it means when a woman (yes, even your mom) is a little too quiet. In my mind, I started thinking of the past day or two, trying to figure out what I did wrong, and for what I should apologize.
Then her brother laughed. The people behind me laughed. The checkout person laughed. We were all laughing, and we were all laughing at me.