Thoughts by Richard Bleil
We have three new tenants who moved into our apartment building in the past couple of weeks. One of them is by the standards of our society quite attractive, but way too young for me. I dated younger women, although not this young, and I’ve come to realize that they are boring. Oh, I’m sure not for people who are about their same age, but the difference in experience levels makes it difficult to have conversations. Steely Dan (actually named for three sex toys from a book, as I understand it) sang a song called “Hey, Nineteen”, the lyrics of which really explain this well. My favorite passage from the song is “Hey, Nineteen, that’s Aretha Franklin. She don’t remember the queen of soul.” This is often what dating a younger woman is like; explaining your own quick references that you hoped would have significance.
Okay, back to the story. So as this young woman was moving in, I was heading out for a bite to eat. The back to her truck was open, and I couldn’t help but notice as I passed a rather large box of “LP’s”. For those who don’t remember, “LP” stands for “Long Play” which is a type of record back when records were flat plastic disks. I’m being slightly snarky now because they are really making a comeback, so there’s a good chance my readers all know what it stands for. Back in MY day, your choice in personal music was either LP’s or 45’s. A “45” (which stands for “45 RPM’s”, or Revolutions Per Minute, referencing the speed at which they are meant to be played as opposed to LP’s which were typically 33 RPM’s). LP’s were collections of songs (so-called “albums”), and 45’s were “singles”, just single songs except that there were two sides so really they were two songs.
Anyway, yesterday she was entering the building with a young man who I assume was her boyfriend based on the way he behaved. I wanted to ask her if I saw that correctly because seeing the milk-crate full of LP’s brought up feelings of nostalgia, so I asked her if she was into LP’s. She said she was and explained that they were given to her by an aunt. It was a very sweet and ultimately meaningless little conversation.
He looked at me with anger in his eyes the entire time.
Here’s the reality; dating an attractive woman isn’t an easy thing. Assuming he was her boyfriend, he was right to suspect me. He doesn’t know me, and with so many men with such limited interests, yeah, I’m sure a lot of men would want her for one of those limited needs. Me? I was just curious about the records.
But while you cannot trust other men when you’re dating a woman who is attractive, the one person that you SHOULD trust is her, and if you trust her, then it does not matter what those other men want. If you don’t trust her, you might as well break up now and save yourself the heartache on the horizon.
I have a good friend who did modeling at one point in her long and varied career. She is such a little home wrecker. In fact, she was specifically named in two divorce filings for having an affair with, well, I assume the husband, but who really knows this day. The funny thing is that she never had an affair with either of these.
It’s kind of the opposite problem. She’s very attractive, so other women are suspicious of her, assuming that she wanted their husbands (or wives, depending). My wife was the same, actually. She was very paranoid that my friend wanted me, but, if you actually saw me, you’d realize just how ridiculous the concept that she could want me physically actually is.
She is not married. Well, not formally. She’s living with a man, and the two of them are as married as any couple I know. In fact, when I called her a “home wrecker”, she tells me that he jokingly calls her that. He is a model of how men with attractive mates should be. He knows there are men who want her, but he trusts her so completely that he kids her about it.
Attractive women are people. That’s all there really is to it. Sadly, they have to put up with far too many men who are far too threatening with far too few desires on the one hand, and distrustful men when they are in relationships on the other. I like just having conversations with them, no pretense, no long-term nefarious goals outside of just chatting. I guess I’m not yet at that age that I’m not seen as a threat, but honestly, I’m kind of looking forward to it, where I can say basically anything to anybody an nobody takes me as a serious threat. But, I’m getting close.