By Richard Bleil
Tonight I met a new friend online. She posted in a group with something that made me worried about her, so I thought I would send her a note. It was not my intention to lead her to believe I was interested in any kind of romantic entanglement; I really don’t know her, or even where she lives. It was just one human being concerned about another, but the way things were going in the conversation, I thought it best to make my intentions clear, so I told her that I was not trying to flirt with her. She said, “I figured; you didn’t send me a ‘dick pick'”. So I did. Kind of.
I keep a picture of Richard Nixon (a.k.a. “Tricky Dick”) on my phone for just such occasions.
I’m out of time. My standards are from a different era. For example, I like GOOD music.
Okay, that was a low blow. But, for example, I believe that people should be kind to each other. I reached out to her, without even knowing her, because I was worried about her because of her post. I offered a friendly ear, and really have no intention of it developing into anything more. Not that she isn’t lovely, but I know nothing about her, and the odds of us living anywhere near each other are, well, very small.
It’s a pretty big country, y’know.
And I believe that people should respect each other. There is nothing that she said to make me believe that she wanted to see any part of my anatomy, either in person or by proxy via a picture, or that it would be appropriate for me to request it of her. So, I sent Richard Nixon’s picture, as a tongue-in-cheek way of criticizing those who are not so respectful.
Yes, I was raised to open doors, not because I believe that women need my help, but because I believe in showing this respect and honor to women.
I was also raised to never raise a hand in anger to a woman. Frankly, I’ve extended this a bit as I just never raise a hand in anger. But frankly, I’ve never assaulted a woman, and never understand those who do. As a former forensic lab director, I’ve seen more than my fair share of abused women. In the twenty-first century, in what is supposed to be the most advanced country in the world, why is it STILL necessary to have rape kits? How is it that we’ve never evolved from physically and emotional abusing women?
And while we’re on the subject, how is it that there are still people who don’t understand that women are capable? Some might ask “capable of what”, but the reality is that this is the wrong question. No matter what the subject, yes, women are capable. Someday, when everybody figures this out, we will all be the better for it. The men with the GREATEST potential are the men with a woman by their side, because that woman is potentially the greatest ally and partner they will ever know. The men with the GREATEST unfulfilled potential are the men who fail to realize this.
Is this a new or old opinion? Does this mean I’m out of time, or ahead of it? Think about the men and women who settled the west. As they were building their own houses, farming, working for clean water, do you honestly believe that the men did it alone? The men could not have survived without a partner by their side. Sure, there may have been a division of labor, but there is no doubt they worked together for the common good, for their survival, for their children, for their neighbors.
And by the way, respecting women does include respecting their answers. I’m so tired of hearing about women being threatened, or harmed, for saying “no” when a man asks them out on a date. If a woman says no, it doesn’t mean she’s “a dike”, or that something is wrong with her. It means she’s not interested. Believe me, I’ve been turned down for many (MANY) dates in my many (MANY) years on this plane of existence, and I’ve always (ALWAYS) respected “no” as the answer. Sometimes she would share the reason, sometimes she would make up something to “soften the blow”, but honestly, any woman who did say no never owed me anything, including an explanation. “No” means simply that; “no”. Sadly, though, I also understand why so many women don’t just say “no”. It’s because so many men don’t simply accept “no” as the answer.
Again, I’m out of time.
Maybe I’m a fool. Maybe I should be more like other men that we hear too much of these days. Maybe I should declare myself a “good guy” and stalk, threaten and beat women when they turn me down for a date. Maybe I should be the kind of guy that marries a woman, knowing that I can lie and cheat on her. For anybody reading this thinking that I’m out of touch, let me ask this rhetorical question; in which world would you rather live? Mine, or yours?