Thoughts by Richard Bleil
One night, as she slept, I wrote a note on ever page of a new pad of Post-It notes, silly little things like “I Love You” and “You’re So Sweet You Give Me Diabetes”. They ranged from simple and sincere to cute humorous, but there was a different message on each page. Then I posted them around her, on her headboard, on the wall, on the furniture all so she would wake up surrounded by positive notes and love. Then she divorced me.
Today, I sent a little text message to several of my friends. If you didn’t get one, please don’t be offended, because I do love all of my friends, but for the most part, the few that I did text was for a reason. I have a relatively new friend who, although I’ve known her at least superficially for several years, our friendship is starting to grow now. I sent her a note that said simply “I appreciate you.” I sent a former girlfriend of mine, who should know by now that I do love her, a note that said, “I like you” (there is a distinct difference between love and like). Another, far away that I’ve not met in person, I sent “I’m thankful that you are in my life.” Another long-time and yet recently blossoming friendship is with a woman that was married, literally, two days ago as of the writing of this post. I know that I’m often blue after coming down from large events. She was the inspiration for the first one, as I simply said, “just a note to say that I’m glad that we are friends.”
There’s no rhyme or reason for these notes. I don’t know why, today, I felt the need to reach out to so many new and old friends of mine, and I have so many friends that I could spend the entire day sending little notes to each of them, so I don’t even understand the reason behind this particular selection of friends. But I do know that, sometimes, little notes like this can mean the world to somebody.
I don’t understand how the mind works. I doubt that we ever truly will. I do know that sometimes all of us feel as if we are left behind. We feel abandoned, lonely, isolated by our friends, even if we know that we are still and always in their hearts. Somehow, when somebody reaches out to us unexpectedly, and with something positive, it makes all of the difference in the world to us. It’s like that ray of sunshine that breaks through the cloud cover. Suddenly, things are just better.
I’m nobody special, and these notes may not be important to some of the recipients. My friend is a two-day-old newlywed. What are the odds that she is even thinking about me? Or lonely? She might still be on the emotional high from her wedding, so my little message may just pass right by her. But, if she’s suddenly coming down off of that high, maybe, just maybe, it’ll help cushion her landing.
Gestures don’t have to be grand to make an impact. It takes a moment to send a text, and even if the recipient is not having a bad day, just being surprised and knowing that their friend is thinking of them is very powerful. The worst of moods can be elevated by such a surprise, and the best of moods can be lifted even higher. As a bonus, if you are in the need of a boost like this, sending notes will also make you feel better, just imagining how your friend’s day is suddenly a little bit brighter will make you happier as well.
No doubt, you have friends. Take a moment just to send them a little hello, a little message, something to say you’re happy they are in your life, that they matter, that you are thinking of them right now. It doesn’t have to profess your undying love, it doesn’t have to have deep significance, it doesn’t even have to be practical. In fact, it’s better if it’s not practical. “You matter” is much more powerful than “you matter and bring home bread”. Be clever and creative. The more unexpected the message the better. When I sent my friend the note “I like you”, she responded with “wutt”. I explained, as I did above, the difference between like and love. Now, in the future, if I text “I like you” to her, she’ll understand. That phrase has now taken on special meaning for us, because I reached out for no reason at all.